Satisfaction is the Death of Desire
by Steve ----Bookmark on del.icio.us----This is short, but it is as important as anything I’ve written.
You want to be happy, right? This took me almost 30 years to learn.
In my 20s I complained about life, even after major accomplishments, and Christine asked, “Is anything ever going to make you happy? Why can’t you just be happy with what you’ve accomplished?”
I replied, “No. I can’t afford to be happy, because this isn’t good enough. I can do better.”
She shook her head and walked away leaving me indignant and confused. I couldn’t afford to be happy, because happiness is dangerous. Happiness leads to complacency and laziness.
I was sure I was right, but I was wrong.
Like many aggressive goal oriented people, I was confused about the meaning of the word happiness.
I confused satisfaction with happiness. They aren’t the same thing, no matter what your dictionary tells you.
You can be happy and insatiable.
Somehow, when we were kids, we began to believe we needed our desires satiated to be happy, but we don’t, and this mind set cheats us out of many happy moments. This confusion leads to obesity and a swarm of other addictions. We believe we must eat until we are happy, so we eat too much, because we confuse happiness with satisfaction and most of us will never be satisfied. It is natural to be insatiable, because it drives us upward and onward. We are insatiable creatures. Our demand for more fuels the great creation we are experiencing. In our confusion we chase happiness through the satisfaction of our desires, but the moment of satisfaction is fleeting, and thus, so is our happiness.
So the desire to be more, to have more, and to create more is natural and should be insatiable. Since satisfaction is the death of desire, it is also the death of creativity. So be happy and grateful now, but forget about satisfaction, it isn’t even desirable.
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March 27th, 2008 at 2:08 am
:) - a very philosophic post, I’ve read it for two times and I want to say that to be happy it’s not so hard! It doesn’t depend on how many things we own or what we are doing! It depends on what we are feeling! We must learn to be happy without thinking on what is happening around us. Just what feelings do you have inside you! Think about it!
March 27th, 2008 at 2:14 am
I think this is similar to those cases where people say “I’ll be happy once I have a million dollars” but are not happy when they get to the goal. They are confused about what happiness really is.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Steve, would you be willing to play with these thoughts a bit?
I’m thinking about what I know of Buddhist philosophy…that desire knocks us off center, out of the present and into the want-based future or the regret-filled past. But living in the absence of desire does not mean we give up our creativity. In fact, I think we create more, be more, express more, build more, invent more. In the absence of desire we allow the passion of our intentions to lead us, not our insatiability.
What say you?
March 28th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Lisa,
I was waiting for this comment. I love many Buddhist teachings, especially Zen Buddhism, but I struggle with the desire issue… I am a student of many teachings including Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. In his book, Mr. Hill states the key ingredient in success is one’s ability to create a red hot burning desire.
Now the Buddhist teaching about desire is an understanding I have not yet reached… If I try not to desire than I am desiring not to desire, which then leads me back where I started. I understand this is an ancient Koan.
This is from the wikipedia page on Tanha:
So our problem isn’t that we desire, it is that we desire unsatisfactory things.
Now read my post again. :-)
March 28th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Brilliant article. Put that way, you’re right and it explains a lot. I’ll keep this and refer to it from time to time.
March 28th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
… go ahead, just TRY and be satisfied. See how long that ‘happy condition’ lasts, before some New Desire rises to take the place of the Old Satisfied Desire … unless, of course, you are the Buddha Incarnate ;)
March 29th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Steve,
Buddhists believe that by learning to live in the present moment, you detach your emotions from the outcome of the endeavor you involved in. This even works in the personal life as well. If I learn not to attach myself(ego) with the expressions or arguments that I receive from my alter ego, I condition my thoughts not to have emotional jerks every time I engage in an argument.
I have an article related to yours with different perspective. I hope you like it.
http://www.successsoul.com/2008/03/19/4-esstential-thought-habits-to-attain-mindfulness-for-happy-life/
Shilpan
April 1st, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Not many people get “satisfaction” and “success”, but it is living how you want to live an enjoying yourself daily. It has nothing to do with any amount of money.
Jeff
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:36 am
This is a very good post. I am always quoted as one always satisfied, but personally I always feel that I am constantly struggling for achieving my dreams, many of which nobody subscribe to. But best thing is that I am always happy with everything.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Great post! I’m not a subscriber:) Can’t wait to read more!
April 4th, 2008 at 10:24 am
At the risk of aggravating some readers, I will say that both, happiness ad satisfaction are possible. Both are temporary. Both are necessary to living a normal life. As with all things, the devil is in the details. If youare satisfied too easily or not at all — that is a problem. If you are always happy, and fail to recognise your pain or anyone else’s, ever — that is a problem. If you always see only the negative and you are never happy — that is a problem.
To me, the whole point of life is to experience its ups and downs with equal intensity.
April 12th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
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April 25th, 2008 at 7:19 am
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